Pride and Focus

Matthew  14:27-31 But Jesus spoke to them at once. "It's all right," he said. "I am here! Don't be afraid." Then Peter called to him, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you by walking on water." "All right, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he looked around at the high waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted. Instantly Jesus reached out his hand and grabbed him. "You don't have much faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?"

One of the first SCCA road races I attended as a new regional licensed driver was at Willow Springs International Raceway in Rosamond, California. On the first race of a two race weekend, I was doing all right and as I looked up the road I saw another car that I had started to close on. It was the National Champion Fiat in D sedan and although I was in my C Sedan Mini Cooper I thought it would be still be great to pass this noteworthy driver and car. I watched for an opening and dove past him on the inside of a corner.

One of the next corners was a right hander which leads onto the front straight past the pits. Just as I approached the braking area for the corner, for some strange reason, I glanced down at the dash and saw the water temp gauge was hitting some all-time new high temperature I had never seen before. That tiny distraction was a huge mistake.

As I dove for the corner's apex I realized I had turned in a bit too early and was coming in a bit too hot and that would mean on the other end I was going to run out of road. The corner seemed to get tighter and tighter and as I realized the hopelessness of the situation, I decided that rather than going off of the road sideways out of control and risking a rollover, I would just drive off. As the car flew off the road it went a bit airborne came down in the low scrub brush alongside the track. At first I thought that everything was going to be alright. After all, the Rally prepared Minis raced on rough surfaces all the time so I knew the car could take the beating. The front of the car was in front of the rear of the car and the wheels were on the ground so I figured I would just let the car scrub off some speed and drive out of the situation. I did not see the small brush covered ditch coming.

The car hit the lip on one side, flew up in the air and came crashing down on the other side. To add insult to the situation, the car hit so hard that the little horn button on my racing steering wheel flew off and went hurtling through the opening of my open face helmet, hitting me right in the nose.  I don't recall my nose bleeding but it hurt like crazy - I had clearly lost the boxing match with my horn button.

Later, back in the paddock, the Fiat driver came over to ask what happened as he had been right on my tail as I went careening off the outside of the turn. I was actually really glad that I had not taken him with me in my desert off-course adventure. After I explained what had happened, he very politely and correctly told me how stupid I was for glancing at gauges while heading into a corner.

Looking back today I realize that racing incident is similar in many ways to how I have lived much of my life. It is like I have a come up with a three step process for failure. First, I become proud, second I stop looking at what I should be focusing on and last, I start looking at things I should not be focusing on.

Like Peter walking on the water, I was a bit too proud after passed that other car.

Peter probably thought for a moment that he was really special by walking on the water. He might have been hoping his friends in the boat were watching him. Of course when he stopped looking at Jesus and began to look at the wind and waves instead of Jesus, he began to sink. The real source of his ability to walk on water was not anything that was in him but was all about his walking companion.

Also, I catch myself being overwhelmed when I focus on the circumstances. Unfortunately, I have been slow to realize that the problems I often worry about are just like the water temperature in my engine. There was really nothing I could do the "solve" that problem by focusing my attention on it in the middle of a fast corner. What my number one priority should have been was to watch my braking marks and to focus on that corner's apex.

After I thought about it, I realized that if I keep doing what I have always done, I will get the same results. So I decided to take my three prerequisites to spiritual stumbling and use those to reverse engineer how I want to do things differently. First I need to embrace humility instead of allowing pride to creep in. I need to concentrate on looking at what I should be focusing on and that is obviously on Jesus. And last I need to stop looking at things I should not be focusing on like the circumstances of life.

Hebrews 11:27 It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt. He was not afraid of the king. Moses kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible. 

Richard Lewis
Pathways Christian Church
Riverside, CA